Hi. I’m Xan. And you are? Oh, how lovely to meet you! I’d love to get to you know you better. Why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself. Mmmm. Mmmhmmm. Oh, I’ve never been there, but I’ve heard it’s gorgeous. Oooh, that’s interesting. Oh, that must have been hard, I’m sorry to hear that. Hey, I went there, too! Go Jumbos! Oh, yes, I’d love to see pictures of your babies! Awww, what sweet faces. Bet they’re a handful, though, huh? Thought so. 😉
Oh, my turn, you say? Very well.
I am a 5”2’ green-eyed, slightly crooked toothed, big boobed and broad butted, potty mouthed, quick to laugh and quick to cry, Texas born-and-bred, Catholic school and Tufts University educated (Go, Jumbos!), improv and sketch comedy studying, bluebonnet and yellow rose loving, chocolate feinding, pelican and flamingo loving, cutest-dog-in-the-whole-wide-world having, horror movie avoiding, musical theater singing, Michael Jackson adoring, best-chicken-pot-pie-in-the-world making, CSI:Miami indulging, refrigerator magnet collecting, cilantro abhoring, pun loving, grammar judging, silence and alone time craving, outgoing but in-staying, daughter, wife, and mother of one with TWO on the way (OMG!)
Things I love: my family, my high thread count sheets, Christmas, any kind of ice cream, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Benedict Cumberbatch, a New England autumn, the 16 oz bone-in filet and Alaskan King crab legs at Joe’s Seafood Prime Steak and Stone Crab in Chicago, IL, Lake Michigan, the deep sapphire color of the sky when the sun set about 20 minutes ago, the Empire State building, going to the beach, any piñata induced nut-shot on America’s Funniest Videos, a top shelf margarita on the rocks with salt, when the guy gets the girl, when bombasts make fools of themselves, when children outsmart adults, when the sun comes out, when the cake slides beautifully out of the pan, the sound of cicadas, the look of a men’s dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, the scent of my mother’s perfume, the taste of Jack Daniels, and the feel of old jeans buttoning again for the first time in a long time, and helping people find freebie deals online!
Things I do not love: static electricity shocks, when windows don’t roll down all the way, the sticky suffocating heat of September in Florida and the bitter, bone chilling, hope draining cold of February in New England, religious extremism, evangelical parenting (when someone thinks their way of parenting is the only “right” way and won’t shut the eff up about it!) soggy cereal, deep dish pizza, bleu cheese, whole wheat bread, having my knee caps touched in any way, wearing a real bra, the sound The View, and pooping in a public restroom.
Let’s be friends, shall we?